7 Things You Can Do To Prepare Yourself & Your Student For A Successful Move To College (Part 2)

HOUSING INFO: If you can’t find this info on the student housing website, ask for help in the unofficial parents’ groups on social media. One of the groups that I’m in for UT parents has created files of the dorm room layouts and measurements. Parents posted before and after pics of the room decor. I found a ton of helpful detail by searching through that group and just asking questions live.

ROOMMATES: Yes, your student can and should manage a lot of this on their own as part of their evolution into adulthood. However, it never hurts to have the contact info of the roommate’s parents. Even if your student doesn’t plan to coordinate any décor or purchases with their roommate, it’s a good idea to at least meet the roommate and their parent(s). If your student has an emergency while at school, the roommate may need to contact you, or vice versa. Parents may want to connect with each other if there is a school wide emergency. Better safe than sorry.

FINANCIAL: If it turns out you do have to set up utilities, set them up in your student’s name. This will help feed their credit history file. Although not a primary source for credit scores, it does help “thicken” their credit file overall. This is a good thing, as long as you and / or your student pays the bills on time. Most utilities will allow you to set up text and email reminders to more than one address. You can always add your contact info as secondary to your student to make sure things are getting paid.

SIGNING UP FOR CLASSES – ADVISORS: Before they meet with their advisor, make sure your student is well-versed in the course requirements and pre-requisites for their major. This information is available on the school’s website for their major, along with the course catalog. Classes at most universities fill up quickly and freshman are often prioritized last. Seniors are slotted into classes first to ensure they can graduate on time. Don’t be surprised if your student can’t get into every class they want. If their first choice of class is full, your student may need to make changes to their registration after the advisor meeting to find other suitable classes. Since every credit hour could literally cost you hundreds or thousands of dollars, neither you nor your student want to waste money on courses they don’t need to graduate. My daughter felt that sometimes advisors would suggest filler classes without concern about budget. There’s no judgement against the advisors. Being an advisor is a thankless job with infinite variables so there’s no way an advisor can be expected to know every detail unique to every student. My daughter always made sure she knew all of the ins and outs of her major of study and often changed her class plan to be different than what her advisor suggested. Make sure your student completes their class registration as soon as they’re allowed and definitely before the deadline. Tuition invoices are based on class registration credit hours.

SAVING MONEY – METHOD #1: There are two “easy” ways to save money that may be available to your student. The easiest method is to take advantage of community college courses that are virtual and transferrable to your student’s university and major. My daughter took several community college courses in a virtual format at the same time she was taking in-person classes at her primary university. One class was notoriously hard at her college, so she took it at the community college instead. Another class was really hard to get into because so few options were offered at her primary university. She took that one at CC as well. The key is to make triple sure the course is transferrable by checking with your university. Most schools publish a list of “equivalent” courses that can be taken at CC’s in surrounding states. If your student is considered out of state at their primary college, have them take the CC classes in your home state to save even more on tuition. Make sure you do an extra check if your student has a scholarship – there may be requirements about the # of credit hours that must be taken each semester at their primary university.

SAVING MONEY – METHOD #2: Another way to potentially save money applies to out-of-state students in certain states. This program enables students to study a specialized field out of state while paying in-state tuition rates at participating colleges and universities. It is intended to close the gap when a certain major isn’t offered in the student’s home state that forces that student to go out of state and pay more. There are about 15 states that participate, mostly up and down the east coast and stretching west to Texas and Arkansas. We were able to take advantage of this program for 2 1/2 of my daughter’s four years because the Supply Chain and Logistics major is not available in Virginia but it is available at UT. It save us 50% on tuition during the semesters she was eligible! We weren’t able to leverage it all four years because she changed her major midway through her junior year to Communications, which isn’t a common market option for Virginia students. Learn more and check to see if your college participates in the Academic Common Market or ask if there’s is a similar program in your region of the U.S.

SIGNING UP FOR CLASSES – SCHOLARSHIP IMPACTS: As your student makes adjustments to class registration, make sure they’re staying above the minimum credit hours required to designate them as a full-time student. Many scholarships require the student to be enrolled in a minimum number of credit hours per semester. In the parent groups that I participate in on social media, I’ve heard parents tell horror stories about their students losing their scholarship because their advisor didn’t know all of the requirements and inadvertently guided the student in a direction that cost them their scholarship. NOTE: This is not the advisor’s fault. No advisor can be expected to know every detail of every scholarship in the universe. This is solely the responsibility of your student, and you if you’re footing the bill for their tuition. 

SIGNING UP FOR CLASSES – PROFESSOR RATINGS, VIRTUAL VERSUS LIVE AND COURSE REQUIREMENTS: When selecting courses during registration, students can check for student ratings of the professor on www.ratemyprofessor.com. This site collects ratings from students across many universities about each professor and the difficulty of the class, teaching style, etc. My daughter always referenced it before picking classes when multiple professors were available for a certain course. Your student should carefully note whether the class is virtual or live and choose a format that works best for their learning style.

PERSONAL SAFETY – BUDDY SYSTEM AND LOCATION APPS: Make your student promise to follow the buddy system. Never walk alone. EVER. Even if you’re with a buddy, have a rule with the roommates to text each other when they leave a class / bar / store, when they get into an uber, and when they arrive home. My daughter, her friends and her sorority sisters all keep their Snapchat locations turned on so those in their Snap groups will be able to locate them. If Snapchat isn’t your thing, then I highly recommend a family subscription to the Life 360 app. It’s cheap, easy to use, and gives everyone peace of mind. I still have a deal with my college senior daughter: I promise never to comment on where she went or what time she got home, I just want to know that she made it home because I equate her making it home with “she’s alive.” She knows she will forget to text me, so Life 360 is our lazy way of knowing that she made it home. Her first semester I checked it on weekend mornings just to be sure she made it back to her apartment. I check it less so now, unless she tells me it’s a big party weekend on campus. She has told me multiple times over the years that it gives her peace of mind to know that we can find her in the event of an emergency. I also like the Life 360 App because it gives driving info. Since my daughter has to drive ~7 hours each way up and down I-81 to get home from school, it gives me peace of mind to be able to check in on her progress. I’ve put enough fear of the gods in my kids that they voluntarily leave their app turned on for their own safety.

ALCOHOL & DRUG CONSUMPTION, ROOFIES & SEXUAL ASSAULT: Teach your student never to take a drink given to them from someone else. Teach them to never, ever take their eyes off of their own drink and to always keep it covered. I bought these for my daughter and she used them vigilantly (affiliate link to Amazon): Drink Cover Scrunchie. Talk to your student about knowing their limits for alcohol consumption. If they’ve only had one drink but they feel like they’ve had 10, they should consider it a red flag and IMMEDIATELY have a buddy take them home and watch them (or to the ER if appropriate). This isn’t just an alcohol problem. If weed is your student’s vice of choice, then buy them test kits for fentanyl (you can find test strip kits on Amazon). With the rise in fentanyl overdoses and weed being laced with it, your student might consider keeping the test kits on hand. Don’t stick your head in the sand, and don’t let your student be naive. Talk to your students about sexual assault, about how to report it and WHY it’s important to report it. 90% of all campus sexual assaults involve alcohol. Share educational resources with your students so they know it’s not just “mom’s paranoia.” (See resource links at the end of this post). TRUST ME ON ALL OF THIS, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. Even when at home with us around the pool, my daughter will only drink out of a cup that has a lid, and when we’re at a bar together she never takes her hand off of the top of her cup. She learned the hard way when she was roofied at a party even though she considered herself vigilant. Many of her friends have been roofied over the years. You would be terrified at how easy it is for a-holes to drop something into the drink of an unaware person. This is an area where a healthy dose of fear is a good thing.

PRACTICE USING THOSE SAFETY DEVICES: Make them practice how to use the devices you purchase. Be careful not to get mace in your / their eyes when practicing! In a fight-or-flight situation, you don’t want your student to be untrained on using pepper spray or unaware of how much strength it takes to actually yank on the Birdie to trigger the alarm. Their reaction should be second nature, no thinking required. Practice!

INSTINCTS & SELF DEFENSE: Teach your student to trust their instincts. If they have a weird vibe about a person or a party, they should trust it and leave immediately (with a trustworthy friend). Consider investing in a self-defense class. Make it something you and your student go to together. Most local police departments offer free or low-cost self-defense classes, often they’re only a 1-day session. University police departments also often offer them to students for free. I’ll say it again – these are not just suggestions for female students. These are good ideas for every student.

SCHOOL POLICY FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT: Ask the school how they handle sexual assault. Ask them for stats from the last 5 years. The last comprehensive national study was done in 2014, and determined that 40% of colleges and universities reported ZERO investigations of sexual assault in the preceding five years. That should not reassure you the school has no problems with sexual assaults. Just the opposite, that should raise a giant red flag about their policies and a culture of ignoring sexual assault or not having enough resources (both police and educational) to follow-up on reports of assault. Here are some questions provided by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center to ask your student’s Campus Police, Student Affairs, and the Dean of Students:
• Where can I review the policies and procedures used by this institution to respond to a report of sexual assault?
• What sexual assault training is provided to faculty and staff, including resident assistants?
• What counseling or services are available for victims of sexual assault, both on and off campus?
• How can I learn more about what this campus is doing to prevent sexual assault and support victims?